NEUROALCHEMY:

The Real Origin Story

I’m going to give you some real talk…

NeuroAlchemy didn’t begin as a method.

I didn’t set out to create a new healing modality.

It began in the ache of wanting. And TRYING. More than anything to be chosen.

Seriously.

It began as I was trying to survive one of the most painful, obsessive, identity destroying heartaches of my life; a trauma bond so deep I didn’t realize this was, yet again, ANOTHER trauma bond.

I thought it was fate.

I thought it was love.

I thought I could manifest this person back, especially after a decade of studying the mechanics of manifestation and teachers dating back to the early 1900s.

So for over a year and a half, that was my mission:

Visualize. Rewrite. Assume.

Try harder. Believe harder.

The pain was totally worth it, right?

It would all be worth it in the end.

I became OBSESSED with healing the belief that I wasn’t chosen by him.

And as the Universe will do, always in divine time, it gave me exactly what I needed, just not what I wanted.

Shortly thereafter, my therapist introduced the healing modality of Brainspotting…

but what do you think I did?

I turned every session into healing for him. Chasing the pattern of abandonment and not being chosen. But this time, with better tools.

But over time… something cracked.

And the work turned inward.

I realized it was never about him and had always been about the part of me that had never been chosen; not by him, not by others, not by myself.

And friends, that’s when the real healing ACTUALLY began.

That’s when I stopped trying to “manifest” him back and started reclaiming the parts of me I had abandoned my whole life.

That’s when I let my lived experience take up space at the table:

The grief. The shame. The rage. The joy. The ecstasy.

Not just through repatterning my brain but through repatterning my body.

I created space to FEEL and ALLOW it all during Brainspotting.

I anchored into my breath, my emotions, the energy.

I moved, cried, RAGED like I’ve never raged before.

And yes, I’m talking hysterically yelling and sobbing at God at the top of your lungs naked at midnight in front of your mirror in your first floor apartment raging. Yep. That’s the type I’m talking about. My own lived experience.

It’s not pretty.

But these moments are so necessary.

As Florence Scovel Shinn calls it: the breakdown before the breakthrough. You have to let your system detox all of the subconscious and energetic gunk in order to recalibrate to equilibrium.

And it’s not just about releasing the “hard” stuff.

It’s about finally letting your body and brain feel and express all the uncomfortable and taboo thoughts and emotions we’re taught to suppress.

And after everything, what I discovered was this:

Both are the ticket.

Both are what create the shifts… together.

And the last step? Anchoring into the newfound safety I was building into each new belief system and body process after the clearing takes place.